Thirsty Thursday

We're taking on Cancer Council's The Longest Day...

...to push our golf skills to the absolute limit for charity.

For too long Riley Demos has claimed to sit on the throne of the golf group based off zero statistical evidence and a grand total of 2 rounds played.

His challengers are:

1. Ben Lacy-Smith: while he may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, what he lacks in brains he makes up for in brawn, with his chip shots out of bunkers travelling like a Tiger Woods Stinger. After a horrendous set of HSC exams, Ben has named golf as "my only avenue for happiness in these dark times post-HSC." When he is hitting them well, Bun is comparable to a young John Daly, with an unorthodox swing and questionable drinking habits. However, the only thing Ben fears more than the date of the ATAR release is a  chip shot. Never one to turn down something free, BLS will look to his huge muscles and long woods to make up for his disappointing recent rounds of golf, as well as being the designated driver to and from the course on the day (thanks Ben!)

2. James Ritchie: a tactical sniper, Jimmy is no stranger to long, punishing rounds of golf, with his usual playing partner Grandpa Angus usually taking 3 hours to finish 9 holes. Jimmy's strengths lie in his never-say-die attitude, as well as using his "hype chat" as a 15th club to get in his opponents head. Jimmy maintains his love for the bush and outdoors (he owns a $92,000 Audi and lives in Mosman),  and reflects this by usually finding himself in the rough. Jimmy is famed for his greenside bunker play, but perhaps lacks the dog mentality and consistency in his long irons needed to come out on top of the rankings, with a blow-up hole usually always on the scorecard.

3. Charlie Mitchell: despite first picking up a club in January, Charlie "Slug" Mitchell has shown incredible raw talent rarely seen at such a young age. World-renowned for his birdie-par-birdie stretch on Castle Cove's infamous 4th, 5th, and 6th holes, Slug is widely renowned as the only candidate that has been able to rival Riley Demos and his new clubs. Undeterred by a marked decline in fitness since the end of the GPS basketball season, Charlie's hybrid, iron, and putting game make him one of the most complete golfers in the group, always managing to pull off the ultimate "hero shots" to save double bogey. However, his driving skills have sometimes proved his downfall, with bird species near the course seeing a marked decline in population numbers as a result of his wayward aim.

4. Will Powell: as the beginner of the group, Charlie has taken Powelly under his wing, instructing him on the fundamentals of golf; playing for the slice, the difficult yet essential art of the three-putt, and always, ALWAYS, shouting Fore Right on Riley's tee shots. Being described as an enigma by his friends, when Will is not playing golf, he can be found roaming the Ascham school grounds or pitching up a tent at Double Bay library. While still needing a lot of work on his chipping, putting, swing, driving, putting, chipping, and chat, Powell always is a welcome addition to the group when he finds time outside of studying economics.

5. Rob Smith: Smithy is a hopeless romantic, and is married to the game of golf. Naming GloRilla and Jimmy Hendrix as his childhood idols, Rob is always fired up come game day, usually sporting some outrageously zesty attire. The only thing the boys fear more than Rob being on aux is his back-nine performances, making him a true clutch player. Rob has a habit of talking in a French accent after hitting a good shot, and the boys will have to try hard to limit his Francophilic tendencies on the course.

Together, they form the Avengers of the golf world, and have one aim: to destroy Riley Thanos and his Infinity Clubs which give him a completely unfair advantage over these Weekend-Golf warriors.

Any support for this 54-hole bash will go towards Cancer Council's great cause, as well as funding the We Hate Riley committee.